


the deal you've been waiting for

by Mars_and_Moon



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Canonical Character Death, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Klaus "Calls God A Bitch" Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, like...it's hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 23:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars_and_Moon/pseuds/Mars_and_Moon
Summary: “Isn’t that meant for the one downstairs?” Klaus ask, but he’s…intrigued. After all, how many people can say God offered them a deal?God rolls their eyes, but continues talking. “We both know you keep showing up to all but beg to see…Dave, is it? So–-” They point towards a small house with a flower garden. “–Go see him.”Klaus would like to say he runs and every is fine, but something feels…off. Look at last time with dear old Reginald. Klaus looks back and forth between God and the house. “What’s the catch?”





	the deal you've been waiting for

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be 10x more angsty, but i was feeling nice 
> 
> enjoy

Klaus didn’t mean to die this time. It was an accident. But he’ll still use this time to annoy God because…it’s Klaus. So, he’s being a little shit when God cuts him off.

“How about a deal?” They say.

“Isn’t that meant for the one downstairs?” Klaus ask, but he’s…intrigued. After all, how many people can say God offered them a deal?

God rolls their eyes, but continues talking. “We both know you keep showing up to all but beg to see…Dave, is it? So–” They point towards a small house with a flower garden. “–Go see him.”

Klaus would like to say he runs and every is fine, but something feels…off. Look at last time with dear old Reginald. Klaus looks back and forth between God and the house. “What’s the catch?”

“I never see you again,” They said bluntly.

Which, ouch; something still feels off, but, it’s Dave. So, Klaus runs.

And Dave is standing in the living room with a bookshelf in front of him-–he looks beautiful. The exact same as he did last time Klaus saw him, sans blood. Dave shifts towards the noise, and he’s beautiful and perfect and Dave.

There’s something twisting inside of Klaus, some sort of wrongness, but he shoves it far down and runs to Dave; their kissing. And it’s wonderful. And Klaus feels more alive in the afterlife then he ever did among the living.

And it’s good. It’s great. It’s perfect.

Dave is smiling at him–and Klaus is pretty sure he starts crying out of joy. But Dave is holding him and whispering: “Hey–hey baby, don’t cry. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

And the wrongness is back, Klaus can’t explain it but he shoves it down harder and lets Dave hold his hand, lets him show him around the house.

It’s colourful, inside the house. It’s horribly clashing. It’s perfect, like they had planned in hushed words. Eventually they make their way to the kitchen. Dave tells Klaus to sit down at the table, he’ll bring him a drink and something to eat.

So, Klaus sits.

And he waits.

Dave comes back with a bottle of wine, wine glasses, and chocolate.

Wine. Which Klaus can’t drink. Because he’s sober.

But, does that matter in the afterlife? Would it really kill him–-excuse the pun-–to have a drink with the love of his life?

No, but…Dave doesn’t drink. He hates the smell of booze, he hardly drank when they were alive. So, it’s weird that he brought two glasses. It’s weird that he brought alcohol at all, really.

And there’s the wrongness again. This time he can’t shove it down, because it’s there and it all he can feel. Dave kisses him on the cheek, places down what he had brought in, and pulls a chair closer to Klaus.

“I thought you hated drinking?” Klaus blurts out before he can stop himself.

Dave looks taken back; for the first time Klaus really looks at him-–he’s not wearing his dog tags. Dave is smiling again, and Klaus feels twisty and wrong.

“You’re right,” Dave says. “But you drink.”

“I’m clean.”

“Oh,” Dave glances at the bottle. “Well, we’re dead now. So what does it really matter?”

And that’s….that’s wrong. Dave wouldn’t say that, he’d smile at him and say he’s proud of Klaus for getting clean. He’d take the wine away and bring back water or grape juice, but they’d still drink out of the wine glasses to be fancy.

It feels so wrong Klaus can barley breath.

This isn’t Dave.

This is not Dave.

Not-Dave is still looking at him expectantly. He has poured a glass of wine at some point during Klaus realizing the man in front of him wasn’t the love of his life.

“Where’re your tags?” Klaus asks, and his voice breaks. They switched before they went to fight, for luck, as a promise, whatever.

Not-Dave gave him a look. “You have them, baby.”

Dave never called him baby. Because that’s what random hook-ups–or clients–would call Klaus when they didn’t want to learn his name.

Not-Dave was still looking at him, confused. Klaus couldn’t breath. He was almost certain he didn’t need to breath, but that didn’t matter, he couldn’t breath.

This was wrong.

This was wrong.

This was–

“Baby–baby nothings wrong. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Not-Dave had moved to hold him.

Klaus scrambled to get him off. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

He didn’t move. Klaus stayed in the chair in the kitchen. He didn’t move but he pushed Not-Dave off of him.

Nope. Not today Sata–

Oh shit.

Was Klaus in hell?

Was this hell?

Not-Dave looked angry.

No…this wasn’t hell, this was something else.

So, with that in mind, Klaus did the sensible thing and ran out of the house. And yes, he cursed God while be did this

“God! You bitch! God!” Klaus stumbled upon God sitting under a tree, Their hat in Their hands.

“That’s not Dave.” Klaus was pissed. He was like, super pissed. That’s not fair. God is supposed to be the merciful one.

They didn’t look at him, but they did ask: “Why are you here?”

“Why am I–that’s not Dave, bitch. That’s almost Dave, but he’s a knock-off. Dollar store Dave. Wrong.”

That did get God to look at him, almost impressed. Which, rude. “You’re right,” They said. “It was a–-what did you say?-–dollar store Dave.” They moved over slightly, and gestured for Klaus to come sit next to Them. Klaus did, but he still glared very hard at them.

“I don’t make deals,” God said.

“Good, because you suck at them.”

Klaus hears Them let out a sigh. Looks like he’s annoying God today after all.

“What I mean is, I don't not make deals–-but I do give rewards. Most humans would have accepted what I gave you without question. And they would not have called me a bitch.”

“So this was test?!” Klaus shouted. God was…a bitch. Klaus was now an atheist, God no longer existed in his world.

“How did you figure it out?”

Klaus thought about the dog tags, and the pet names, and the wine, and the anger. “None of your business,” he said.

God nodded Their head as if this was what they had wanted to hear. “Well, if you so desire, your Dave is a little past the house you entered.”

“He’s what now?”

“A little ways past the house you entered.” They placed Their hat back on.

“I’m not falling for another–”

“It’s not a trick,” God interrupted. “He is very much there.”

Klaus…hesitated. Not for the same reason as he did before but because–“How long have I been here? In Earth time?”

“About, ten minutes I’d say. If you don’t wake up soon your siblings will be calling an ambulance.”

Dave was close. He was so close but…“Could you send me back?”

God turned and looked at him, shocked. Klaus guessed most people wouldn’t turn down eternal happiness with their true life. “I could,” They said, hands moving gently through the grass. “Why would you want that? This is what you have been visiting me for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…but it’s weird. Having the chance to actually do it.” Dave was close. He was here. In a house. He’d be happy to see Klaus. He’d call him sunshine. They’d be happy.

But….Vanya had a concert coming up, Ben was going to that AA meeting, Diego was starting up a P.I business, Luther was learning to knit, Allison was bring Claire to visit them, and Five needed to experience the wonders of Disney movies.

Dave would understand if Klaus didn’t show up just yet. And boy, did part of him want to stay here…but Dave wasn’t leaving.

“Would you–would you send me back? I have a couple more things to do.”

God stood up and walked over to Their bike. “If you’re so sure.”

Klaus looked in the direction of where Dave would be; maybe he was imagining it, but he could’ve sworn he saw Dave standing there and smiling at him.

“I’m sure,” he said. “I want to go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me, pointing at a Bittersweet Ending: is this fluff?
> 
> comments & kudos give me joy


End file.
